What I weigh is what I weigh

for now.

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Right off the bat, the public nature of this competition resulted in a moment or two of panic. I mean, first of all it’s titled “Motivation by Humiliation”… There are a lot of aspects that are nerve racking about that as it stands. My honest initial fears were: Are they going to announce my start weight on air? Will they do before photos? Post them on Social Media?

My brain went into a tailspin. People are going to know a little too much for comfort. I almost backed out.

Weight loss, for whatever reason, is something that people feel very strongly about. It is a touchy, emotional subject. Everyone has their own expectations and judgments based on their personal experiences and perception. But that’s just it. It’s their opinion and their perception. No one can feel exactly how I feel about my body. This is not about someone else’s opinion, not even Bert (even though he will be personally invested) or A.B. (my amazing trainer who is leading me through this). It’s about me being the best version of me for me. 

Adding the public nature of a weight loss competition on the radio is an incredibly vulnerable place to be. Personally coming to terms with your body and how you feel about it without the opinions or criticisms of how other’s feel about it is tough. Super tough. Adding those opinions into the mix makes it even more tricky.

Ya know what though?

Fuck it.

I’m being honest and open and vulnerable. I’m going to be true to myself and commit to this journey of health and it’s not because of anyone’s Facebook comments or because of someone else’s opinion. It might be slightly cause of that billboard thing, thoughBut mostly it’s to prove to myself that I’m a BOSS BITCH.

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P.S. Also, what I weigh is what I weigh. It’s a number. A unit of measure. I said I wasn’t ashamed of my body and I’m not. I weighed 187 pounds.

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